Save me
by squarecreatures
Summary: Starting how the season 4 finale left us. Elena going to college and Stefan in a coffin. Is their relationship repairable? Will she be able to save him? T for now, M for later chapters. Review if you can, I like to know people are reading.
1. Chapter 1

"It was like I couldn't breathe" I retorted to Caroline as I moved the fries around my plate. Suddenly I didn't even feel like pretending I was eating. The canteen buzzed with fresh faced students guzzling down cans of coke and double shot espresso's, anything with caffeine to rejuvenate the tired heads on a Monday after an endless sea of parties.

"And you're trapped in a wooden box?" Caroline said a bit too loudly and I gave her my best _keep-it-down_ glare. I had been having the same dream for over four weeks now, I would wake up gasping for air, as though choking, the dream was dark and felt so real that in some cases I had woken up crying, wondering how I felt the pain as though it were actually happening, feeling sadness and alone. But not just that, the dream seemed to stay with me afterwards, the bad thoughts grabbed a hold of me and it was difficult not to think about it.

"Maybe its just the change in pace y'know? You have made a lot of changes lately" Caroline's voice seemed to trail off and I looked up at her from my phone and reached for her hand.

"You know he's happier wherever he is Car" I squeezed her hand reassuringly. Stefan had been gone for 4 months now and no one had seen or heard from him. Even I was surprised at the lack of contact between him and Damon. I knew Damon was taking it hard, and in a way so was I.

"I just thought he would at least send a text, like 'hey car, I'm in Alaska, just so you know I'm still alive" She mimicked his voice perfectly and I had to laugh. Stefan could be so sarcastic sometimes. I missed that about him, I missed a lot about him.

"I'm sure he's fine Car" she nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer, although I wasn't sure myself. I knew Stefan, I knew how much he loved Damon, he wasn't the type of person to lose touch. It scared me to think that he could be in trouble right now, with Klaus or Rebecca taking advantage of him.

The bell rang for class and I said my goodbyes to Caroline and made plans for tonight, before running through campus to make my 2pm English Literature class.

Class had already begun and I darted to one of the seats next to the window. This class was small and stuffy; I chose a window seat that allowed me to stay hidden from the lecturer. I wasn't really feeling in the mood for an in class discussion today, not after the dream I had last night and the lingering feelings that seemed to be flooding my thoughts lately.

I scribbled down some notes about up and coming novels we would be studying for exams until something outside caught my eye. I watched as a man that looked surprisingly familiar walked down the faded path of the campus green. I squinted trying to place where I had seen that back before, seen those broad shoulders. My heart was beating rapidly, I wasn't sure what to expect when this person revealed himself. Could it be..?

He stopped to check his phone and I held my breath as I watched a girl skip over to him and literally pounce on to him. I laughed inwardly that I even thought that was who I thought it was and bent down to pick up another book for class. I focused on the lecturer for another second before I heard a squeal followed by fits of laughter. The entire class turned at the same time to the high pitched noise before turning back to the board. That's when I saw him, that golden hair, those turquoise eyes, that deep stare. My mouth dropped as I watched him in slow motion strolling down towards the entry of the Plath building hand hung over a very long legged brunette. I blinked a few times until I was certain it was him. He looked…different. His lips were crooked into a sneaky smile, eyes jarred together with darkness behind them that I had never seen before. His whole mannerism was different, I watched as he stuck his tongue inside the leggy brunettes ear and slipped his hand further down her waste to rest on her bottom.

I actually choked for a moment watching this, I was literally dumbfounded, unable to piece together all the why's and when's together. I quickly grabbed my books and rucksack to make a very impolite exit during my lecture. I raced down with enough speed that wouldn't get noticed around campus, listening closely for his voice. But I was too late. He was gone, and I was left scratching my head, wondering did I imagine that happening. Maybe I really was going crazy.

Stefan

I held my breath as the pain burst though me once again and I was in agony. This would last another hour at least before I passed out and started the process all over again. I squeezed my eyes closed, looking for anything, something to put me out of my misery. There was nothing here, just darkness and my memories, my thoughts. I never wanted my life to end more than I have to this day and I wonder why I even bothered before. Everything was such a waste of time. In this darkness I cant imagine how any of it made any sense to me.

I squeeze my fists together tightly as I feel another bolt of sickening agony pulse through my body, there isn't one cell that isn't affected, not one particle.

My vision is blurred, my body weakening and I know that Im about to die, again, and come back…again. Her face appears and I'm thrashing my body to get Elena out of my thoughts, I never want to see her again, never want to feel anything for her again. I cant imagine reality, I feel like its all slipping through my finger tips. I gasp as the last drop of life leaves my body, and I think to myself _this is it _and I fall deeper and deeper into nothingness. My last fleeting thoughts about the woman who broke my heart, her faint image fading against the darkness of the coffin. Despite my pain and anguish, I would do anything to see her face again, hear her laugh, even for one moment. I feel like Im loosing that, loosing myself, I don't have much more time. _Please Elena..save me._

Elena

I closed my eyes and breathed in the electricity pouring from the house. Bass vibrated through the floor boards, half naked sorority girls screamed as ping pong balls landed in cups, tongues and lips and gyrating hips come in flashes across my eyes as the music pumpes a hypnotic beat. I wrapped my arms around Caroline and we giggled together as we danced and made a circle with our friends from class and dorm rooms.

I was lucky enough to be sharing with Caroline, that way we could at least get a night or two a week to feed together and not have to pretend like we were completely normal college students. I felt normal now though, as I fanned my hair in the air and made stupid moves inside our circle and giggled with the girls.

I left abruptly, searching for more whisky and, nothing was better at keeping my buzz going than whisky and I had to hide my stash in a vacant room upstairs which I hoped would still be somewhat vacant now. I pushed passed messy people, noticing I was sort for messy myself as I reached for a banisters and giggled when I missed a few steps along the way. My phone buzzed in my back pocked and I took it out to look.

**What are you wearing ;)**

Damon. I smiled to myself as I thought about how he had the most perfect timing sometimes, I began to write a reply until I walked into something hard and bewilderingly familiar. My eyes moved hesitantly up the tall stiff body that I collided with and I was met with dark green unforgiving eyes.

"Stefan" I whispered, my jaw going lax at just the sight of him and I was transfixed. He was, as usual, completely drop dead gorgeous, that was a given. But there was something edgier about him right now, his smile was too crooked, his gaze unrelenting. I had to force myself away from those eyes, they felt cold, almost calculating.

"Elena, how are you my dear girl?" I cocked my head to the side wondering how he had just said that to me and not even flinched. _Dear girl? _Was this how he was going to react to the situation with me and Damon? I tried to forget what he had just said to me and smiled.

"Wow, its so good to see you Stefan" I took a step towards him and wrapped my arms around him swiftly and realised he would not be reciprocating the small affection.

I stepped back biting my lip, sort of nervous now and not sure where I stood with him at all.

"I didn't know you were in college" I tried to deter my doubt to a different topic.

"Oh you know, I thought I would see what this generation of third level education could offer an old soul like me" he smiled wickedly and his eyes narrowed on me and moved down my body, he made a very slow perusal of my breasts before moving lower down my body and I could feel myself flush just thinking about him looking at me this way. I laughed nervously and his head whipped back with a naughty smile that I had not seen when…well…we used to fool around.

I blinked a few times, astonished that this was happening, I looked around to see if I was actually still at the party before I realised that I had yet to reply to Damon. Something about Stefan made me feel uncomfortable and I didn't quite know what.

"Well it was nice to bump into you Stefan" I squeaked. Before nodding at him once and making my way to my hidden booze room. I definitely needed to get more drunk now. That was awkward as hell. He's not even acting like the same person anymore.

I rummaged through my bag that I hid in the closet of a guestroom near the back of the house. I sat on the bed for a moment drinking the whiskey down swiftly and trying not to over think my reaction to Stefan moments ago.

"I was wondering where all the good alcohol was being hidden" I heard a voice from the door behind me and I quickly stood watching Stefan close the door behind him.

"Stefan, hey" I said quite flustered. I met his gaze again and his eyes seemed contemplative, he was reading me and I wondered why.

"Are you okay Stefan?" I asked hesitantly. Why should I feel uncomfortable around him? I have trusted Stefan with me life before over and over again, why do I feel so skittish around him now?

"Oh yes sweetheart, very much so.." I raised my eyebrows at him in question. Stefan only ever called me sweetheart when we were together. Is he drunk? Why is he making this so awkward?

"Stefan, why are you-"

"Are you enjoying your summer with my brother" he cut me off. And my back stiffened. Something was definitely not right here and I was instantly on the defence.

"Stefan, are you drunk?" I asked. I didn't mean for my voice to sound so small, but I certainly felt small as he towered over me and studied me with his perfect eyes.

"I've never been more sober" I looked away, not knowing what to do. His hand reached over to my nape and I froze, my skin burnt from his finger tips, my hair standing on end. There was something very wrong about being in a dimly lit room..with your ex…and feeling completely powerless against his every move. I gulped.

"What are you doing?" His head bent towards mine and I leaned away, afraid of what he wanted to do or say next.

"I was just thinking about what you were sweetheart" my heart jumped and I thought frantically for a second wondering what he was trying to pull.

"I know you have been thinking about the past, or much more about _our_ past of late." He offered and I pulled away to look at him. His face was so cold and expectant of my reaction I began to feel a shiver trail down my spine.

"What?" I asked genuinely confused by this entire situation.

"You were thinking about that time in Aunt Jenna's car" he ran a smooth thumb over my cheek and I gasped. I remembered that night too well, the night of 7 times. We laughed about it often afterwards. But I had only started thinking about it recently when thinking of Stefan, thinking about how I missed his company in general. It wasn't for any other reason other than reminiscing; I had lost hope for our relationship long before that. But sometimes it was just nice to remember the good times. When things seemed…easier.

"Oh" I replied, slightly mortified and slightly scared that he knew that had been on my mind recently. I felt the need to explain myself somehow, even though I owed him nothing. I clamped my lips together deciding on saying staying silent in the hopes that he would just leave it.

"mmm you came so hard on my mouth, my fingers, my –"

"okay" I blurted out, instantly flushing and pushing at his chest to give me room.

"This isn't appropriate Stefan" I tried to find some sort of remorse in his eyes but that cold smirk just made me feel sorry for him. Had this whole thing really messed him up that much?

"Stefan obviously you're acting out, you're still hurt, im sorry" I tried to look up at him but had to look away when I felt tears coming on.

"Nothing to be sorry about sweetheart, I was just reminding you of a fleeting memory. But you cant deny that lately you have been thinking about other things, perhaps you should think about what you are trying to remember and what you cannot forget." I looked at him questioningly. And his gaze finally pointed to the phone that was left on the bed. I knew what he was trying to tell me and I suddenly felt angry.

"Stefan, just go away" I was infuriated by his demeanour, his words had cut me, but I still couldn't really blame him. This whole situation was a royal fuck up.

"No problem sweetheart. Good luck with everything" he gestured to the phone on the bed and gave me one final glance before leaving the room. What the hell is going on?


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two days since my conversation with Stefan, and no matter how hard we looked or inquired about him he was nowhere to be found around campus. I was starting to question whether I had actually seen him that day or if it was just a figment of my imagination. Caroline didn't seem to be dealing too well with the fact that Stefan was around and had not been in contact with her. I watched her as she scribbled in her economics notebook, wearing away the thin pages of the book.

"Car, you're really looking too much into it" I told her, sitting up from the reading position on my bed to walk over to her. She didn't even flinch when I put a hand to her shoulder, I sighed, not knowing what to do.

"Car…"

"Are you not even a bit worried about him Elena?" I knew what her question implied, I couldn't really get past the accusation in her voice. I knew what Caroline really thought about the whole situation. She wasn't okay with it, but never the less she has stood by me ever since I told her about Damon and I. Although we don't speak of it much.

"Caroline. Of course I worry about him. But im sure Stefan is just busy with his new life now, he probably just wants to move on from all of this" I looked down at my hands that had suddenly slipped into my pockets. I didn't like the feeling in my gut as I thought about Stefan and his new life, happier and away from us.

"Im sorry, I didn't mean." Caroline stood, and grabbed my shoulders for a huge hug.

"I didn't mean to sound like you don't still care, I just…miss him" I hugged her tighter.

"Me too" when we finally pulled away, teary eyed and embarrassed with ourselves. We made plans for the night, cinema and take out.

"Have you told Damon yet?" She asked from the bathroom as she collected the different things she needed for getting back to mystic falls tomorrow.

"Yes, he wasn't all that happy about it. I don't know if its because he misses him or the fact that Stefan is here when he is….there" Caroline shot her head out from the bathroom with an over exaggerated look of exasperation. I couldn't stop the smile on my face as she stared at me with those giant eyes and her mouth wide open in mock surprise.

"You didn't tell him did you?" she asked. I watched her for a moment trying to deter the conversation.

"Elena! Did you tell him Stefan came on to you at the party?" I looked up at her with worried eyes, my stomach turning at the thought that Damon would ever find out about that.

"No" I mumbled quietly, clamping my lips together and looking away.

I turned to see she was still looking at me in that comical way and I threw my pillow at her and laughed as it hit the door frame of the bathroom.

"No I didn't okay!" I threw my hands up in the air. "I just don't think he needs to know, I wouldn't even call it flirting, it was just very, very weird ex to ex conversation which is bound to happen at some stage. And to say that Damon would be furious is an understatement. He would probably kill Stefan. In case you haven't noticed he isn't exactly great at self control"

I looked down, realizing that Stefan would have never done that. Hell Damon even tried to kiss me when Stefan and I were together, but he had always trusted me, always knew I would never cheat. And low and behold, look at what had happened. I didn't even want to analyse it anymore, I was so done with torturing myself about the whole ordeal.

XXXXX

I whirled passed all the oak tree's as the road got windier, it got trickier, too as the hill steepened. I was getting good at keeping a fast pace, I would say I could be nearly invisible to the naked eye, although I would never see it for myself. Perhaps it was because I ran lots as a human. It translated over perfectly as a vampire too, I could lose myself, stop thinking for a while.

This route was nice, and the moon was wide and low tonight, it bounced off black water and made it silver. I ran until there was no path left and I was left breathless at the shore of the lazy lake. I dipped my toes into it before leaning against a tree to fix my hair.

"good evening Elena" I turned quickly, hearing a deep voice come from behind me. My body went rigid as I raised my hands into defense.

"Who is that?" I asked with a voice I could barely believe was my own. I heard a low chuckle and footsteps come closer, I turned noticing a familiar figure appear from the darkness.

"Stefan?" I asked, lowering my hands, and straightening my body.

"What are you doing Stefan?" I asked, but I realized I was relieved it was him. I hadn't known that I was looking that hard for him until I saw his face and something on my shoulders instantly lifted at the sight of his face.

"Elena" His voice was low and enthralling, I was confused by it just as much as the smile on his face shook me to my toes.

He stepped closely and I felt very afraid, looking in his eyes and seeing nothing but menace and coldness that made my heart clench. Somehow I was not okay with seeing Stefan like this, I didn't like looking into his eyes and seeing some sort of evil inside them.

He watched me for a minute and I watched him back, it was a stand off. I wanted so badly to Know what was happening with him, why he was acting this way. But my thoughts always threaded back to the beginning of the summer, when I had walked away from him and I had to stop myself. I broke our stare, feeling so uncomfortable that I needed to compose myself again.

"tsk tsk tsk tsk" I couldn't stop myself from swinging my head back up to look at him, what was he playing at? It was so unlike Stefan to be so condescending of me. He moved closer and watched me again with taunting eyes that made my resolve to keep my nose out of his business suddenly be thrown out the window.

I reach over to cup his cheek, expecting his eyes to soften at my touch, but his lips curved into a creepy smile that make me nearly want to cower away.

I stepped closer, searching in his gaze for anything to make him seem real to me. See his eyes soften like they would even when he was at his worst, I tried to feel the brightness that I usually saw when I looked at him. But I just couldn't, I shivered at the realization that something was not right.

"What happened to you?" I asked. And his face tightened. I removed my hand as his teeth began to show fully as he grinned at me like I had just figured out his secret.

"Im your beloved, Elena" he chuckled and stepped around me to put his hands on my shoulder and I gasped at the cold grip he placed on me.

"Who are you?" I asked through gritted teeth, turning my head away from his fiery gaze. He chuckled again and stepped back around to watch me for a moment.

"I should have known, kindled spirits and all of that" he smirked at my confused expression. It made me sick to my stomach to watch Stefan's face look so bitter, with no remorse. His voice wasn't even the same, it had a threatening edge to it, it was difficult to avoid the sharpness of each word he delivered.

Suddenly his giant hands held my shoulders in place and I realized that Stefan has most definitely not taken the cure. He was strong if not stronger than I was.

"Tell me girl, have you been in contact with your beautiful witch?" he asked me with curious intense eyes that made me answer him immediately.

"..Why?, please who are you? Where is Stefan?" he released me and my feet touched the ground again, I hadn't even noticed I was suspended until I felt the sharp pain bite into my shoulder

"I have plans for you my darling" he whispered, and dragged his fingers across my cheek. I felt a shiver travel down my spine at the realization that Silas was standing in front of me.

"And Jeremy…", he stated matter of factly. My gut clenched and he took my hand and brought It to his lips before letting it drop down to my side.

"what?" I gasped as he began to walk away.

"WHAT?" I called running after him, the desperation in my voice made me swallow hard at his words knowing Stefan was in danger. Knowing that Silas was still among us, and Jeremy's life was again at stake.

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialled Jeremy quickly; I thought I could have fainted when I heard his voice answer on the other side.

"Jeremy! Jeremy, go to the boarding house now!" I said, my voice shaking.

"Wait, what Elena what's wrong?"

"Just please, ill explain it when I get there okay, I just need you safe." I hung up quickly and sprinted the entire way back to the dorm rooms.

XXXXXX

After, explaining the situation to Caroline about 15 times, I was sitting restlessly in her car counting down the seconds that it would take to get home.

"Elena we have to think where Stefan may be" I bit my lip thinking he could be anywhere. Where was the last time I had seen him? Was it even him that time?

"I don't know Car and…" my voice caught in my throat. Caroline seemed to realize that I was trying to wrap my mind around this just as much as she was, knowing that there was nothing we could do until we got there, we stayed silent and let the hum of the car take over the silence between us.

When we arrived I rushed straight into the house, leaving all of the doors I passed through swinging as I rushed through every room.

"Jer" I was besides myself happy to see him as he leapt up from his seat and embraced me.

"Oh thank god you're okay." I whispered to him

"Pain in the ass, but he's all good" I turned, a little smile appearing on my lips at the voice approaching from behind me.

"Hi" I whispered before awkwardly embracing him in front of two people that didn't really seem to understand us. I knew he wanted more, wanted me to kiss him, tell him I loved him. But I just couldn't, not right now. He held on to me even when I dropped my arms from around his neck.

"Hey" he kissed me chastely and we turned to sit at the couch.

"Im sorry for all the abruptness" I glanced at Jer apologetically and took a deep breath.

"I saw Silas tonight" I could feel Damon stiffen beside me. I looked at him for a moment with a sudden dread at his reaction.

"I saw him last Saturday and tonight, he was posing as…Stefan" I looked down at my feet as I continued.

"He asked me about Bonnie and he was acting so strange that I knew it wasn't him, it just wasn't Stefan. Then he told me he had great plans for me and…Jeremy" Damon was pacing at this point and I wasn't sure what he was thinking. My eyes started to fill with tears as I realized that danger was lurking around the corner for my brother once again.

"Something happened to Stefan that night and I just know it"

Caroline slammed her glass on to the coffee table "Well, I didn't see him that night so who did? Come on guys, we need to piece this night together" I could tell Caroline was angry at us, her tone had a hint of accusation and it made me desperate to find answers. She had every right to be angry at me; for making him leave, for putting him in charge of disposing Silas alone. As we selfishly took care of other useless business.

"I spoke to him as he was loading up the car, it was near midnight, just after Elena left" Damon said quickly.

"And I spoke to him before I left" I said lowly and squeezed my fists together tightly. Why didn't we just go with him? Why were we so selfish after…everything.

"Well that's where we'll go, maybe we can find something at the quarry that will lead us to him" Caroline stood to grab her keys and we all followed quickly.

XXXXX

"I could only find these chains" Caroline said to us as we all re appeared from our search party at the top of the cliff.

"They could be from anything Caroline, Jesus Christ" Damon spat back at her.

"Damon, stop, were all trying to find Stefan together, why are you being like this?" I didn't understand this side of him, why he felt the need undermine people. Why he was so un caring right now?

"Well, whatever Elena wants…" he turned his head and smiled smugly. I looked back at him with cold eyes for that remark. I didn't like his attitude at all.

"Just stop it okay!" Caroline said.

"Someone go down and look in the quarry"

"I will" I said quickly

"So will I" Damon said after me.

I looked at Damon as we both walked to the edge of the cliffs mouth, his anger seemed more directed at me now and I had had enough of this.

"What is wrong with you Damon?"

"Don't" he answered back crisply, giving me choice but to just look straight ahead. I sighed as we reached the edge, kicking off some rock as we prepared to jump.

"One, two –" Damon started "Three" and we detonated ourselves off the cliff, leaving rubble and rocks falling down with us. And as we hit the water I had to remind myself that even though I had lots of time before I needed to come up for air again, I needed to pace myself underwater.

We swam in the darkness, pieces of leaves and rubble flying around us in the water. Damon swam in front and I could see his jet black hair moving like black smoke, fading in and out of his face.

We were approaching the bottom and began to split up until we instantly saw the massive black wooden box submerged into the sandy quarry's bottom. My heart instantly leaped, this was not a coincidence, I felt my dream revisit me, the cold hard box, the water filling my lungs over and over. I suddenly needed air and I raced up to the surface to breathe.

Damon wasn't far behind me and he swam towards me after he resurfaced.

"I tried to pry it open, but there's chains locking whatever is in there" he used his hand to push the hair out of his eyes.

"He's in there Damon I know he is, ill tell you later but I had some sort of dream about it" He looked at me with a deadly question in his eyes. I could see the lack of trust there and I wanted to re assure him, tell him why I hadn't mentioned it before. But not now.

"Please Damon quickly"

We both swam quickly back down, nearly racing until we slammed onto the sandy bottom and reached the coffin again. I could see the chains and the twist lock in the center. Damon grabbed one chain and motioned for me to grab the other, we both pulled, letting the air escape our lungs as we slowly pried the rusty chains off from around the coffin.

The chains broke off and we quickly rose up for more air before ducking back down to break the final lock of the coffin. Damon stepped behind me, making two holes in the thick sand and digging his feet in there behind mine. He placed his arms under mine and we both held the lever of the hefty lock before pulling and pulling until it slowly started to give and popped the lid of the coffin open. I was running out of air, but I couldn't move. Thousands of bubbles escaped the open lid and when It finally opened all the way I could see him.

Stefan was holding his neck as though choking himself, his body convulsed and his eyes were dead and lifeless. His skin pruned and white. I couldn't tell what I was thinking then, everything began to happen in slow motion. Because my body went into autopilot and Damon and I instantly grabbed Stefan, his body was nearly lifeless. I could see him trying to kick with us to reach the surface, but it was a feeble attempt. I could feel his hand clutch my shoulder and I turned to look at him. His eyes were sad and heavy, but I could see deep inside that it was my Stefan. Although his face didn't move, I could see relief in his eyes and tenderness passing through them that made me swallow hard.

By the time we reached the surface he was completely unconscious, we dragged him to the surface and I dropped to my knee's and cried. I buried my face in his chest and couldn't let go of him. Stefan had been here…for months! And nobody knew about it, he was suffering and it was all my fault. I closed my eyes and let my sobs escape.

**A/N: So whats up Damon's ass? Elena doesn't know that Bonnie is dead so I wonder how she's going to take that. Stefan is finally out of the coffin, but I don't think he's safe yet. What will Damon and Elena do now that they have to take care of Stefan? So many questions :) please review guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Sorry if there's one or two spelling mistakes in here, its quite late where I am and I wanted to upload this tonight. As always, reviews are my muse :) **

Caroline

It seemed like forever before Stefan woke up, there was so many things I wanted to ask him, so many things I needed to tell him. He hasn't said a thing since he opened his eyes, he hasn't made a move to sit up. I can just feel that he is broken. His eyes are glassy and hopeless, Im fearing the worst right now because ive never seen him like this, with no hope, no anger, just emptiness.

"Stefan, please tell us what you need" I finally snapped out of my thoughts and saw Elena reaching for Stefan's hand. She looked pleadingly into his eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. Damon was watching them with a strange expression from the edge of the room that made me hate him just that little more. Stefan was un responsive, his eyes just looked out the window into nothingness, and I could see that Elena was being hard on herself. His hand was limp as she traced the skin with her finger tips. She looked longingly at him, waiting and without knowing for possibly the first time how to fix Stefan.

I could hear Damon slam his glass down on the bar and stride out of the room. Elena didn't budge, she had obviously become accustom to the drama in her life now. I couldn't really think about what was going on with that side of the story just yet.

"Elena" I started.

"Can you give me a few minutes with Stefan please?" I tried not to sound to stern, but I had a feeling that speaking with him wasn't going to happen with Elena around. She looked up at me, fear and regret in her eyes that I wanted to take away, but I couldn't. She slowly rose taking another look at Stefan before leaving the room.

I knelt in front of him, and took his hand in mine. He squeezed back and I sighed so heavily just wanting to hug him to me, but knowing I shouldn't. Not yet.

"Talk to me" I whispered.

He squeezed my hand again and turned his face to meet my gaze, my jaw dropped just seeing the fear in his eyes, the tears falling down his face as though he was anticipating something horrific. I reached over to wipe his tears away, and his eyes focused on me a few times before he spoke.

"Caroline" he gave me a sad smile and I smiled back trying not to show how shocked I was to see him this way. Its always strange when you see a strong figure in your life reveal their vulnerability, it makes you question your own beliefs and shake your own faith. I braced myself for the worst, knowing deep down that nothing was really going to fix Stefan, I could just tell by his broken expression that this was it.

"Its not going to stop" I looked at him for a moment, not sure whether he meant, waiting for him to go on.

"I cant" I held him as he began to weep. His body shook with tears and anger, and I held him tightly, not knowing how to comfort him and hoping that this was enough. I shushed him and held him tight into my arms.

"Stefan, please..tell me what's going on, maybe we can-"  
"No.." I let him continue, his tone was stern but not aggressive, I pulled back to look at him.

"Caroline, i have been dying over and over and over again for the past 92 days, please don't make me go through this any longer." I couldn't comprehend what he was telling me.

"I know it makes me weak" he continued "I know it makes me a coward, and Im trying not to be selfish, but Im so tired, Im just so tired" he trailed off and I tried to let the words sink in. He wanted to die. I couldn't quite digest the thought. Stefan, after everything that he has been through wants to end it.

He squeezed my hand again, bringing me back to him, I turned to face kneel in front of him.

"Stefan, just hold on a bit longer, there must be a way" I grabbed his cheeks with my hands, pleading with him "Please Stefan, you cant ask me to do this, you know I wont. Cant" Was this how it all would end for Stefan? Simply giving up didn't sound like something that was in cards for him, he was a fighter, always had been.

"Caroline" his voice began to sound a little panicked and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"yes" I whispered

"don't leave me right now, just let this one pass ok?"

I nodded against him, not knowing exactly what he meant by that, his body began to tremble and tense under my firm arms, and soon, I knew why he wanted this to end. I could feel every second of it with him as he died a slow death in my arms. I cried when he finally went limp in my arms and was completely lost for words.

xxx

Elena.

"Where were you?" I asked as I got up from our bed. I was more than furious, I was absolutely livid by the time Damon decided to grace me with his presence. He strode right passed me, I took in his state, he definitely didn't look sober, his clothes were ruffled and he was wearing a sneaky grin on his face.

I followed him to the bathroom, my fists balled up at my sides waiting for an explanation.

"Are you just going to ignore me? What's going on with you?"

He snickered and began unbuttoning his shirt in that suggestive way that made me really have to focus on keeping eye contact. Yes, Damon was delicious, from his rugged, raven black hair that framed his face, right down to the trail of hair at his naval and to his stocky legs and sexy feet. I couldn't deny that I had wanted him from the start. I can admit to myself now that I had always wanted to taste the Danger and mysterious Damon Salvatore. Though, I didn't like how he used that piece of information to his advantage some of the time. He knew my attraction to him could be used against me, to wear me down, he was careful now as he undressed himself, but I wouldn't let him get away with it. I folded my arms and waited for him to say something.

"Oh lets see.." I could tell by his tone that he wasn't going to give me a mature answer

"I thought I might hit the grill have a human..or two, have a drink, what did you get up to today? How is life with you my darling?" His fingers slowly and sloppily undid the last few buttons of his shirt.

"did you...did you kill someone tonight?" I asked, horrified, by the way he described his..._drink_ as a human.

"Why, would you stop loving me if I did? Somehow I don't think you would, my self restraint isn't as immaculate as your ex"

_Oh.._

"Damon, I don't know what you're getting at, but your brother is down there, suffering over and over again and is begging for someone to end his life and here you are drunk and buzzed on blood. Not only that but you're _still_ bringing up Stefan and I in a time like this, I think thats petty"

"I don't care about Stefan, Elena." My Jaw dropped. What the actual hell?!

"You don't mean that, you're just having a shitty time with your guilt Damon" I spat back walking away. He ended up in front of me, my hair fluttering around my face as he whipped around me, his hands were on my arms holding me in place. I instantly tried to shrug away from him.

"And what about you? Are you completely guilt free?" He licked his lips after he spoke and I never wanted to slap him more than I did now.

"Let me go Damon" I said slowly, grinding my teeth together. He smiled wickedly, I could see the thought in his eyes, _how far will I push her_. I knew he wanted to prod more but he slowly released me. He watched as I left the room, I stopped at the door, not knowing what else to do or how to deal with his mood swings.

"Damon, you can't act like this when you feel remorse...your brother needs you" I saw him take in my words and hoped that it would be enough to get him to help Stefan.

Xxx

Stefan

"I think Elena wants to speak with you" Caroline told me as she paced in front of the fire place.

"Okay" she stopped mid tracks and looked at me.

"Are you sure that's ok?" she asked cautiously

"Yes, of course," Just the thought of seeing her had my heart racing.

"Hey" Caroline and I both turned, watching Elena shyly make her way through the door. I searched for Damon to follow behind her but he didn't. I knew he wasn't good at this kind of thing. I stood reaching for Caroline and holding her in my arms for a long moment.

"I don't know what to do" She whispered to me in a tortured voice.

"Everything's going to be okay" I could feel her nodding against me and I let myself squeeze her a little harder than I should have. I didn't really want to think about what I was doing, there was just darkness in my future. Every movement I made seemed pointless at this stage, counting down the hours before I died again made my stomach turn.

"Take care" I pulled away smiling, before wiping the tears off her eyes.

I looked over at Elena, allowing myself to smile at her. I didn't want to dwell on the past, I loved this woman with every fiber of my being. I had vowed to keep her safe, keep her happy and here she was standing in front of me looking as gorgeous as ever. I should be thankful for that, my life had never been as important as hers.

"Hi" she started, walking slowly over to me looking very nervous.

"Hi" We stood there, staring for a moment. It was so good to see her, she would never know how much I thought of her while I was stuck in that box, how much she helped me get through it all.

"You want to go for a walk with me?" I asked, trying to be as casual as possible. She seemed taken aback by but nodded anyway. It must have been around 2 am, but the air was warm and dry.

We stepped outside and walked at a leisurely pace, taking the windy roads of the forest and into a clearing.

"Hows college?" I asked.

"Good, making lots of friends. Caroline is testing at times, but we know how to pick our battles" I smiled knowing that Elena will have probably ripped her hair out once or twice before the end of the year.

"Its nice" she looked at me with wonder in her eyes. It reminded me of when we used to talk together, , when I would listen to her go on about her day and kiss her in between giggles.

"Its nice to hear you so happy Elena" we walked on a bit further. I could feel the tension between us, all the unsaid words, all the loose ends between us.

"What's going on Stefan?" She asked finally.

I grabbed her hand and stopped us in our tracks.

"Elena, first of all, I want you to know this has nothing to do with you" here it goes.

I showed her my ring less hand and felt her anguish straight away.

"Where is your ring Stefan?"

"I don't need it Elena" I said to her crisply. I reached over and grabbed her cheeks in my hand.

"Listen to me" her eyes were filled with tears, one slipped down and without thinking I moved in to kiss it away. I couldn't help it, I hated to see her cry. When I pulled back, Elena had a strange expression on her face that I couldn't place. We stared at each other for long moments before I spoke again.

"When I met you that's when my life began. I want you to know that you brightened my days, the world went into colour when I first set eyes on you and I want to thank you for that. I regret absolutely nothing about us, about meeting you and loving you like I did" her tears were flowing now.

"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Elena, when you're happy im happy. I have never loved anyone like I loved you, and its going to end that way" Her mouth fell open.

"Stefan"

"No, just let me go. If you care about me Elena, you know you need to let me go" She shook her head no, and I took her in my arms holding her tightly.

"Please" I whispered and pulled away to look at her. Her lips were shaking and her eyes torn. I breathed against her, her scent filling my senses and for a split second I could remember a time when it was always like this between us. Raw, passionate, entwined, not knowing where one of us began or ended, one. I could pretend just for a second that we were the lovers we once were and the pain that stained me afterwards would be short.

I watched as her trembling hands reached to pull around my neck and I couldn't resist when she pulled me down to her lips, she pressed hers on mine tenderly and when I felt them move I sank into her. Tears slipped from my eyes as I opened for her and could feel her whimper as our lips slowly moved and smoothed over the other. Her tongue traced my upper lip and I fisted her hair as a tingle flew down my spine. We lingered, breathing on each other, staying close.

"Please don't leave me" I opened my eyes, taking in her beauty.

"I love you 'Lena" I brought her hand to my lips and slowly let it slip out of my hand

"Always and forever" she replied, and I was puzzled by that but continued to turn and walk away from her, the love of my life.


	4. Chapter 4

Somewhere along the way making bad decisions for myself had become a habit. I lingered behind Stefan far enough away so as he wouldn't notice me. It could have been that I wanted to torture myself to see him fade as the sun's light hit him, but mostly I wanted it all to be a lie.

My mind raced back to all the possibilities that could save Stefan, to lock him up in until we found a remedy for this curse Silas had set on him. But I couldn't, not with the resignation in his eyes, his finality, he would never force me to suffer for a life I didn't want anymore. This wasn't like all the times before when he had turned it off or turned into a guilt ridden ripper. This was surrender, and who was I to make the decision for him. That realization made my stomach sick; I wasn't that person to him any longer.

Stefan stopped at an opening near the boarding house, I immediately did too. I watched him as he sat on the gravel and pulled his knee's up to his chest. I wanted to go to him so badly, but it hurt to even think of him dying in front of me. I was selfish, I had known that since I turned, but this was the first time since then that I wanted to change that. Slowly, I turned my back and walked away. And when the sun rose that morning, I wasn't in Mystic falls anymore. I was well and truly lost.

Stefan

"Stefan, Stefan! What's wrong with him Damon?" I could hear a girls voice coming from behind me, shaking me. My legs felt like jelly and I had this weird feeling in my solar plex, I could feel it pattering and I moved my heavy hand to my chest.

"ahh"

"Oh my god Damon, he's alive!" I couldn't recognise these voices or names and I used all my strength to open my eyes. A beautiful blond girl sat beside me, her hands on either side of my face looking shocked. She was suddenly crying and holding me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

"cant...breathe..." she quickly let go and stood. I could see a tall dark man hovering over me, his eyes were liquid blue, his hair jet black and his skin was pale and flawless. He reached his hand out to me and I took it, still feeling unsteady on my feet. The man quickly grabbed me, and held me to standing. Once I was standing up right, the blonde girl quickly pulled at my wrist and put pressure on the soft skin under my forearm.

Her face dropped and she looked at Damon as though she couldn't believe who or what she was looking at.

"Stefan, how do you feel?" I looked up, seeing a red sky dotting the sky, my head began to spin, the light was bright in my eyes.

"Who's Stefan?" I asked completely confused as to what was going on.

"Ok ,well he's alive but maybe not sane" The dark man quickly replied and suddenly my stomach churned and something was coming up my throat.

"I don't feel.." and next thing I knew, I was hurling up what looked like blood and I winced at the sight of it.

"Oh god, take the baby" the man said and suddenly I was holding on to the blonde woman as she began walking with me.

"Stefan, do you know where you are?" she asked me

"Well..." I paused to really think. I felt nothing come to me at all, I felt the words come to me and I felt strange not having anything to think about before I had woken.

"Im sorry I..I cant think of anything" I turned to look at her and she paused, looking at me fondly and it made me smile at her. This lady seemed nice, my heart warmed instantly to her.

"Ok, well, how do you feel Stefan?" I started to walk with her again, feeling my legs getting more strength as I walked but I still felt dizzy.

"I feel very tired...Caroline?" I asked.

Her face looked puzzled "Yes, Its Caroline...nice to meet you Stefan." And the twinkle was back in her eyes again. She led me into a very large house and up the stairs to a very large room.

"Get some rest Stefan, ill bring you down some clothes for you to sleep in" She stood back and looked at me with a smile on her face. "you look.."

"Much better" I replied, she smiled at me in a way I didn't understand, but I did feel so much better.

_~ 2months later ~_

Elena

The water rushed to my feet and I curled my toes in to the sand feeling myself sinking. This was nice, the weather was cold but it didn't bother me. The weeks seemed to have just flown past, solidarity was underrated. I walked further down the bay absorbing the salty air. I could hear a guitar playing close by, the strings vibrated against the frets and I could see him in the distance. He serenaded his lover as she rubbed the back of his calf with her toes, he faltered with the rhythm momentarily and then smirked at her, mischief in his eyes.

I looked away, letting a lone dear fall down my cheek, I brushed it away quickly, not knowing once again how I felt about my future, or my decisions. I missed home, Damon, Caroline, Jer, everyone. But I couldn't forget what I had done, what my decision had meant for Stefan and the tragedy that was him and his life. I tried to analyze my feelings towards him, but couldn't spend long enough thinking about it before I felt my heart ache and the lump in my throat swell. I had always loved him ,there wasn't a doubt in my mind about that, but by the end of it all, I knew he would never want me again, never love me in the same way. He had always deserved better.

"Well its never too late to try" I heard a purr from behind me and I jumped wondering how someone had snuck up on me. When I turned, I looked into the face of the one I dreaded to see the most, the monster in my ex lovers body. Instantly I lunged for him hoping to end him now forever.

His hand caught my wrist and I was spun into the air and pinned to the ground, he was so much stronger and more powerful. I looked into his cold eyes and felt a chill travel down my spine as he watched me with amusement in his eyes. I felt like a toy, like a play thing in his sick little game.

"What do you want Silas" he tilted his head before licking his lips, my stomach leaped as he leaned down to smell my hair.

"hmmm oh Elena, can we not pretend like its old times" he pulled back to watch my horrified face.

He grinded his hips into mine and chuckled

"I promise not to disappoint Elena" his eyes narrowed and ground my teeth trying to squirm away.

"you'd have to kill me first Silas" Suddenly, he was standing and pulling me along side him next to the water.

"In time my dear, but first I have plans for you" I turned my head to him, prompting him to finish whatever he had to say to me. He stopped and grabbed both my arms.

"Your brother Jeremy has contact with the dead I understand" I said nothing, but I knew he didn't need me to confirm it, I thought Jer would be safe with Matt in Florida for the year. But obviously I was wrong.

"Get him to bring the witch to me" he said with a cool steel to his tone, as though guarding his temper.

"What do you mean?" I was puzzled that we needed to get Bonnie from the other side of the curtain.

"She's not there Silas" I said with a question in my tone, I hadn't heard from her in so long, I felt my lip quiver.

"Yes she is silly girl, since the curtain was damn closed" he said spitefully.

"Now you best get home and find her for me before I decide to hurt your beloved Jer and his mortal friend Matt." He finally let go of my arms and I stood there motionless. _Bonnie has been...dead?_

Stefan

Falling on the table, I couldn't breathe, my lungs weren't cooperating and every time I opened my eyes I just laughed even more.

"Im gonna kill that fugly looking kid, Stefan!" I took a deep breath and composed myself.

"Caroline, he's obviously, you know, into you" she turned her head to me, an incredulous look in her eyes. I laughed a little more.

"He wants an excuse to come back to the table" I said before laughing some more, eating my fries.

"Stefan, he's obviously got some sort of learning impediment if he cant remember my order after the third time!"

"uh oh, lover boy is back" I said sheepishly, looking at my food as he approached her again.

"You need anything else miss?" I looked up and saw the cocky question in his eyes. Every time we came to the grill he hit on her and Caroline went absolutely mental. It was great. I laughed but tried to cover it up with a cough.

Caroline turned her head to me.

"No thanks Billy, but Stefan was just saying how great you look in that apron..." The bus boy turned to me and my face went bright red. He gave me an unforgiving stare and I instantly was speechless.

"He's really shy, but once he gets out of his shell, I hear he's an animal in the sack!" I choked on a fry as she continued.

"Interested Billy?" The boy stuttered for a moment before pointing to the kitchen and running away. I threw a chip at her face.

"Caroline"

"Don't dish it if you cant take it!" she drawled before drinking her whisky. I shook my head at her.

"What are you doing tonight Stefan?" she asked me

"I don't know, maybe write a little, I may go to game, I was thinking of trying for the team"

"Sounds good, how's Damon treating you?" she asked carefully

"He keeps to himself, I don't really mind, I like having my own time I reassured her" she smiled at me and a tried to scowl at her, we both laughed.

"Want some company tonight at least?" she asked, she was such a good friend.

"Sure"

Caroline drove us back to the boarding house. As she pulled in , she paused after turning off the car.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think someone's home" she said.

I followed her into the house and into the living room.

"Hey Damon" I dropped my rucksack on the ground and turned to see Damon standing and a beautiful girl sitting on the couch. I was frozen on the spot, I watched her for a moment, willing myself to think of something to say. But i was struck by her beauty, her hair a beautiful dark shade of chestnut, her eyes looked at me with a softness that made me swallow hard. She stood and I felt infinitesimal next to her, she was stunning.

"Hi" she whispered.

"Hi" I spoke lowly and left my mouth hanging open until I realised the way Damon was looking at me, he seemed..._hurt_.

"Im Stefan" I held out my hand for her.

I watched as she slowly reached for my hand without losing eye contact with me.

"Im Elena"

**A/N- hmm so Stefan is living a relatively normal life now, how much has he discovered about himself over the two months. How will Damon and Elena handle him being back and seemingly oblivious to everything that happened in the past. Reviews are my muse ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

Elena

The moments passed by so slowly after Stefan and Caroline left. Damon was swirling his whisky around his glass with his back to me. I watched him anxiously, not knowing what was going on in his head after all of this time.

"Is this supposed to be some kind of joke Elena?" he asked. I couldn't see his face, but his tone was steadied and I knew he was trying to control his anger, which scared me even more.

"What do you mean Damon?"

"Us!" he shouted and spun around on his heel. His eyes were stone cold and I wasn't sure how to explain to him the reason behind my leaving. I just knew he wouldn't understand.

"Shhh he'll hear us Damon"

"Elena, he cant hear like we cant anymore, he's human now. You should know that but you disappeared off the face of the earth for over three weeks." That piece of information hit me like a freight train, I didn't know how I felt about that. Tears stung my eyes. Stefan had gotten exactly what he always wanted. A fresh start, a new beginning with a world of opportunities. Something I once had...it was hard to remember that time now that I was so confounded in all the supernatural drama going on around me.

"Damon Im sorry-"

"Don't even bother" he began to walk away and I honestly wasn't sure if I had the energy to follow him this time.

"So I cant even explain myself?" I said incredulously.

"Fine Damon, just walk away like you always do when shit gets real with anything"

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"he head twisted in question. He jaw tightened in bitter judgement towards me. It struck me as odd that now Damon was the one knowing what the right was from wrong. That I had floated so far away from my morals, I wasn't even sure what hurt people anymore.

"You've been walking away from the moment I met you, thats what you do Damon, you pretend like nothing gets to you but it does and its making you an ass" I walk over to him as I he processes that.

"Talk to me Damon, this" I gestured to us. "Wont work if you don't try and understand me, listen to me, let me listen to you"

"You're such a hypocrite Elena" My hand fell to my side, and I wasn't sure if I could even read his expression.

He leaned in to kiss me and I let him, his kiss was hard and ravenous and I tried to forget about everything that was wrong with us. To loose myself in him like I had in the past.

"What...about" his hands travelled to my hair and stopped my words all at once and I could taste his tongue. I couldn't help but feel the hard muscles under his shirt. I had missed him, missed how I could forget with Damon, know that nothing would stop us from living so dangerously.

"No-" he caught me again and pushed me to the wall. My heart raced as his hands reached under my hair and palmed my hot skin.

Stefan

"Is Elena your friend Caroline?" I asked as we reached our room. I smiled when I saw Caroline sprawled out on my bed with her head buried in my pillows.

"Yes" I looked at her quizzically and jumped on the bed next to her, nudging her shoulder so she could face me.

"What's wrong?" She took a deep breath and I wasn't sure if I saw a little pain behind her eyes.

"She's just a friend that I haven't seen in a long time"

"It doesn't seem like you're too excited to see her" I tried not to fish too much, but everyone was acting so strange today.

"Its...complicated" I nodded. Wanting to ask her more about Elena but deciding not to.

"Can I ask you something Caroline?" I asked her, shifting to lie on the pillow next to her.

"mmhmm"

"Have you ever been in love?" I turned my head to look at her, and her deep eyes searched mine.

"yes" she whispered.

"What was it like?" It took her a few moments but when she replied it made me smile.

"It was fucking awesome" I couldn't stop the laughter that erupted my from chest. We both giggled it faded and she looked a little sad. I frowned in answer and pushed her beautiful blond hair from her face.

"What made you ask me that Stefan?" I thought about that for a moment as I watched her nervous question in her eyes.

"no, no, Car. Don't worry" I laughed a little at her shocked expression. "Were friends right?" I asked her and we were both serious again.

"Its just well...You could have any guy you want. I just thought that maybe you're waiting for someone...special" she smiled at me.

"So intuitive Stefan" I smiled at that, I didn't know why, but I felt like Caroline just understood how I felt about everything.

"I hope that you can be with him again" I told her.

"I hope that for you too Stefan" I looked up at her for a moment wondering what she had meant by that.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing" she began to get up and threw the pillow in my face.

"Hey" I threw it back at her completely missing.

"Seeya later looser"

"Seeya later Caroline" I lay there for hours afterwards, unable to get that out of my mind. Unable to get the brown haired girl I had met tonight out of my writing and thoughts. Somehow I had been completely captivated by somebody in the space of a few seconds. I wanted to try and go back downstairs, to bump into her and speak with her again but then decided against it.

I ran my fingers along beautiful parted lips. She couldn't have been fully asleep but I trailed my fingers across her cheek and watched her bite her lip. My breathe was fast and it was just from the sight of her, her sallow skin looked so edible I reached down and ran my tongue against her skin. I heard her gasp and my length ached for her and bounced against her leg. I threw the comforter off of us and I positioned myself to take in her full form and reach all of her. Her beautiful curves, the movement of her breathing. For some reason I recognised the linen, the bear that sat beside her angelic hair. My woman was also innocent, it made my heart beat faster. Her long curvy, luscious body discretely shimmied down to be closer to mine, but her eyes never opened. Only her hands began to explore, running down the smooth skin of the apex of her nipples, the line running down to her midriff. My mouth watered when I heard her gasp and moan from the sensation of her hands on her nipples.

My fingers continued to barely touch, running from her hips down her outer thighs and she seemed to beg for me to do more, her hands became more frantic and I couldn't stop myself from reaching down and nipping her earlobe. She gasped and whimpered underneath her breath, and my hardness was aching now. She said my name in a soft moan as she slowly reached down to touch me in the most delicate way that it made me ache. It was so good that I groaned and turned into her breasts, her nails softly grazed my cock. "Jesus Elena" ...t_hat name..._

She gripped me harder and i lost all sense of control, my body rolled and leaped on to hers as she began stroking me. I looked down as I flexed my hips into her hand; my cock rubbed into her belly, getting suck delicious friction. Precum glazed on to her and I looked into her lidded eyes as they took in my reaction to her skilled fingers. The small smile on her face made me ravenous. My little vixon, i thought as I smiled back! I slammed my mouth on to hers and continued to ride her hand. Her little fingers grew tighter around me and I pumped hard, kissing her neck, her shoulder, until I reached her breasts.

"Want you...in..inside" I could hear her little cries for me as her hand tried to guide my length to her wetness. She was so hot, so ready for me, I mewled and sucked on her breasts but avoided her entry.

"God...please...Stefan!"

I covered my body over hers and nuzzled her neck as I felt her body under me. This feeling...with her was becoming more familiar, her voice, her body, her touch, even her words were something I felt I had heard so many times. Her hips grinding and desperately asking me to take her, she purred like a cat as I nibbled on her ear and rocked my hips lower to appease her. Her hand was still stroking me, as my length glided against her clit and her heart began to race in anticipation for me to enter her. We mixed like liquid, I could feel her heat begging me to enter and I groaned into her ear. I teased her until her cries became almost pleading. I couldn't decide which was better, the feeling of her hot and desperate for me, or her tight fingers teasing my throbbing length as it rubbed between her lips.

I was so aware that I was growling and panting in her mouth, I felt animalistic as my teeth captured her lips and I started to push inside her. Her nails dug into the skin of my buttocks and I stopped barely inside of her.

"Yes..yes, Stefan! Please mmm" I kissed up her neck to her cheek and then her mouth. Our eyes met and I watched her as I slowly pushed inside. _This was important...seeing her...like this..._ My thumb brushed a tear from her eye and I bent to kiss her delicately.

"Feel so good Elena" she grabbed my cheeks and pulled me down to her lips again.

I kissed her hard and pushed in as far as her tiny body could take me. Her legs wrapped me into her world and she cooed in my ear as I rocked at a painfully slow rhythm.

"Mmmmm, please...mmmm god...oh...Stefan" I drove into her and pulled my knee's up so I shallowly thrust into her and ground against her clit in the way that made her go crazy. I watched her in this position as she lost herself. Her sexy lips swollen and bruised from my assault. My spine tingled at the sight of her and her contracting muscles around the base of my cock. This wont last long I thought.

"Oh god...please" how could her body tighten like this, I nearly lost control, torn between this moment and my release.

"oh..." our bodies moved greedily and I let her hands scratch me and pull at my buttocks for me to get deeper.

"Elena" I growled as my teeth grazed her skin, I was close, she was coming. I wanted both, I wanted to come inside her. I felt heat creep up into my face, it was an alien feeling. Blood, my teeth seemed longer, her neck seemed more delicate. I was breathing hard now and Elena was coming I could feel her...tighten and say my name...and so was I. Without thinking I quickly dove my teeth into her.

"ahhhhhhh" her screams were nothing but an echo in my head, her pleading for me to stop seemed miles away as I came deep inside her for what felt like forever. There was blood on sallow skin as the word refocused. _Oh god_

It was quiet, nothing like it was before, I could only hear my heart beating and suddenly I realised what had happened. NO!

Stefan rose from his bed in a cold sweat; he looked around the dark room in complete terror. He looked around for signs of trauma. The dream felt so real. He had remembered things about it, he had remembered a thirst like no other. He remembered the feel of skin and warmth around his heart that seemed to always be present for someone or something. He remembered what to do when he made love, how to speak and move...with _Elena_. And more importantly he remembered what it was like to feed, how for some reason he needed to bite, that he could lose himself in it.

Suddenly his stomach began to tighten and he ran towards the bathroom, but didn't make it. He hurled all the remnants of that days food and more. He wiped the sweat on his face and rose from his knee's to look in the mirror. When he looked he saw blood on his face and searched his body only to find his own bite marks on the side of his wrist, they were deep and gnawed, bleeding furiously. Slowly he extended his tongue for a taste of the blood around his lips. He didn't taste anything, didn't feel anything. But in his dream, it felt as though the blood made him stronger, made him forget and fuck like nothing he could even imagine as a human...Stefan made his way back to bed, he tended to his injured arm and tried to sleep. But he was too deeply disturbed by his thoughts. He turned to his journal and wrote until dawn.


End file.
